非玵非哉_的瞬间

2025-02-07 22:37:05 晴

2025.2.7 还记得去年这个时候我在抢票，去北京的四十小时硬座，去杭州的凌晨飞机，去广州的两天硬座，那时候我充满动力，憧憬未来，因为我前途不可限量拿到了四个学校的复试资格，那时的我以为这趟旅程肯定是一路繁花。最接近梦想的时候我一直在经历第一次。第一次父母不支持我考学，第一次自己做所有决定，第一次出远门东跑西颠，第一次和同专业竞争对手接触，第一次感受高等学府的致命吸引力，第一次满盘皆输，第一次走向生命的分割线。我再度想起，24年的三月一日，我躺在从广州回家的卧铺上，心里沉闷不安，颌面已经开始作痛。而25年的三月我会再次搭上这趟火车，命运的齿轮环环紧扣，归宿还在风中飘零。我从来没有很多时间，边走边探花，生命总有静止，音乐总要停止，不幸的鼓球最终落在我的手里，也没有为什么。就像不愿相信我的失败，我也没有相信我的不幸，就像尽力弥补我的损失，我又开始全力以赴。让悲伤的人长叹一口气发自内心再问一遍那个没有答案的问题。#癌症 #我的抗癌日记 #肿瘤 >>阅读更多

用户：非玵非哉

2024-12-12 19:59:30 晴

2024.12.12 今天第一次因为治疗带来的副作用哭，因为之前太疼了，让我注意不到那些细枝末节，最难过的日子过去了那些细枝末节也变成了大事。看着食物脑子不断会想我没有味觉，我张不开嘴，做晚买的红豆酥现在才吃上一口，崩溃的时候那口红豆酥还含在嘴里，也许不咽下去我还能想象它的味道。但是总比躺在床上半死不活好多了吧！我的头上也没有触目惊心的疤，只是遗憾我要为这些感到庆幸。可不为这些感到庆幸又能怎样呢？不然我也许永远意识不到简单的幸福。我安慰道，自己是如此伟大，也不免有人看出我的可怜，虽然我从不在意展示脆弱，但我也确实拿不出更多强大。能作陪我的少之又少，内心有再多丰盈也只能一忍再忍，或许我从未真心满足，面对现实只能强装镇定。不是彼岸花开得妖艳，是玫瑰从不在彼岸耀眼。#癌症 #我的抗癌日记 #肿瘤 >>阅读更多

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